Warmth in your touch toxic was your trait

A damaged soul with high walls, touching gods ceiling. I stayed around for the simple fact you gave me this feeling that couldn’t be duplicated. Climbing these walls breaking these barriers but yet never getting to the top.. rivers of patience oceans of love the storms approaching  followed by ghosts from the past of being left behind with Gemini being your sign let’s search for happiness at the bottom of a bottle of wine. Drunk in love with the presence of the stars align above with secluded feelings of being damaged I just needed time for some healing. Complicated was it? mixed thoughts with added emotions no need to go any further when looking back at it over shit ended as a disaster but don’t get me wrong these times together I’ll forever treasurer deeply 

Bringing intimacy physically emotionally mentally as for spiritually. Deep in it for the long journey caressing your body staring into your beauty catching your soul cause there’s no place I rather be 

Then to relive this memory.

             

                             You know what I like 

about you  

You have all the colors 

            Full of  brightness in one 

Coming in solo with no empathy

With being aware on the slightest sympathy riding pushing on the gas 

Inhaling simultaneously 

Being the passenger seat sits empty 

On my own..

Outside looking in the life is dull 

Dreaming on a queen When it can be done on a full..

Pocketful of broke so no ego to stroke 

I’m with peace with sanity. 

A lot in motion much deceiving going on

Nowadays yet we turn the other way living on as if everything okay.  Scrolling along 

Treating life as a filter with the perfect angle caption that.. happiness where you been? I was told you you have to find it within but then again the bigger the sin the larger the grin. It is what it is though tears running down it’s not what I pictured where did I go wrong? Outpouring this soul of mine something like a sad song. It’s crazy how she did me how you know  Andy did woody but no need for a sorry in this story. Unspoken words left unsaid cause whatever it was that we had just know it’s dead. Suffocating while counting my blessings appreciative yet unsatisfied 

For this roller coast life of mine. For the few that are close with rolled up bills hitting a line or two cause inside you know that isn’t you! Came be the same ones you outgrew? My conscious calling but I ain’t listening they say a prayer goes a long way so I try to say one each and everyday pressuring the higher power to answer. Lost with no guidances finding peace in mind with time as I vent with this being the only thing I can afford shit I go crazy if I keep this shit in store. Refuse to fold but I need goals reaching for air with no meaning.. what’s the cost to be lost?

Distant memories of you give me chills

A smile across my face a few dollar bills will do the trick.. ain’t that some shit?

Unfortunately we couldn’t keep the team together..  but Ill keep that forever a few dollars and a dream. Picture that facing in the mirror you being the breadwinner..

Living better doing great 

Besides that time I confused 

A life lesson to a soulmate 

Someone I saw a friend In.. a best friend!

Then again we’re all living in sin

With our past being us just dust in the wind.

To all the places we’ve could of gone 

To the places you have been 

To knowing the facts 

the shit is heart wrenching.

My stomach hurts 

Confused from a heartbreak

Or heartache? 

I say My soul was for the taking 

Looking back at it all 

Wtf was i thinking in believing in something that left me with nothing 

Guess I was numb to the feeling 

Should of listen to my gut

Shit but then again I was looking 

For ways to get up in yours 

Searching for that nut 
We were both stuck in our ways but you had your days 

I was only trying to help but it’s hard 

To do so when you couldn’t even help

Yourself!

No love lost

Said we Cut ties —fuck the cost—

Eat the lies —we on our way 

With no goodbyes questioning on our why’s lighting up to the most high..

How is it with so much going on 

In rotation I still choose to get on snap 

To creep on your location. 

But yet here I am keeping my composure 

Wording my thoughts all together 

Just to have some sorta closure

Cause I swear I was on some 

“teenage fever “

Yea I’ll be a fool on the first 

which is shameful to believe 

I ever get chance to see how playful 

She grew up to be 

Too see that now become A distant memory as you are 

Just a thought of me being in your past 

Guess it’s true when they say nice guys

Finish last as if my heart hanging 

Off a cast - away vibes 

Secluded in my feelings 

On what everything I was hearing 

You had me in someone I believed in 

Just for you to move in and up and leave again..

Blind sided on the idea of you and I

As I Never been the type to give in but 

Catching feelings and flights to places 

We’ve never been where some things I 

Never questioned. 

In time though I’m seeing everything clearer Only to catch a fool in the mirror 

Angry at myself  that I can’t face the fact 

I can’t have what I want back and as 

For this guilt trip is something that I don’t lack.. feeling used and played I was just something to do when there was nothing to do.. even tho you spoke “ I love you “

I don’t  see no Love in you. Should of listened to my friends but I was too blind to comprehend. With “ wasted times “

On repeat by The Weeknd I reflect on in all 

It’s like you hit me with a curveball. I Never seen it coming only a chance to see it go..

From packing  a suitcase on getaway trips 

To having all your shit moving in I still found in my heart to keep it within even after that one on one battle over in Nashville... 1/2