Rather have you then have had you

As the relationship was much deeper,

Being us two, but things happen to fall through

Finding myself at the bottom blinded by the seasons of autumn

As it all falls. Feelings do to, in remembering it all

You would listen to everyone at your shoulder.

 Have you forgotten?

Finding love somewhere we were lost in, yelling and telling

Your nothing guess that kind of does something.

Hearing those word from someone you cared for

On conversations of the night before Worth losing sleep over

Was told the words are getting deeper

Maybe it’s just cause the memories from the past is that much closer

The pain that words bring?

The feeling of emotions that we let sting

Holding on at what it is that’s gone

Leaving the extra baggage for the next one

(S)imple (A)ttraction (R)uins (A)bsolute (H)atred

(D) emeaning (E)ntirely (H)armonious  (E)ngaging (A)ttractive (R)omances (T)reasured

But love conquers hate; you never had to believe me

All you needed was to believe in me

With the only one being around, look around?

Worry only weighing you down

It was you and I and us but I in lust

Wrote a lot of memories of you and I girl,

You and I in this world

20th April

Losing myself trying to care for Someone who doesn't cAre for losing yourself, as I'm admitting I fell for a canceR given the late cAlls sHe was found to ignore taking up time putting up walls, while thinking unsure missing and a item we once were, with understanding she bruises easily hearing the pain in her voice ' I swear there all lies ' suffered from one of many lies.. Sending off our last goodbyes, now with a few years later the past approaching the future, in believing you might answer, "dial the number do what your HEART desires and just call her you stupid mother fucker" *ring* Thinking.. Happiest exist when you don't know a thing... In letting is all hang listening on the dial tone. Leave a voice, as leaving you was an unpleasant choice... I could hear you. “Have you talked to? Who? Was there one or were more than two?" well” I’ll be dishonest if I said I didn't speak to a few But I'm being honest when I say not one of them amounted to you... With my mind and heart arguing on whether I should care for a stranger looking beautiful as ever, taking me a year ago on this day on and open letter as I awoke that morning reading on the words that you spoke.

   
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

But its a cancer every time I’m around her

So I’m numbing the pain for the feel

Unsure if it’s real or if not normal

Losing myself questioning my questions

Were the argument and struggles worth the trouble?

But I’ve learn not to chase it, living young drinking among

Those who have ever taste it, as were only getting wasted

 Traveling through the mind

To a place that reconnects us with our feelings

 We left behind; so is it red or is it white?

To heal what was once mine, as it sits an extra glass to define you

With wanting to argue than be without,

As the bottle fades out….

"Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it." - Buddha 

Thinking deeply, loving mysteriously now denying your vulnerability

Toward me, am I talking crazy? Or is it maybe you can’t admit it to yourself

As I’ve been keeping all and everything to myself and it’s a damn shame

I’m hearing you say all the right things but calling them by the wrong name

But who’s to blame on the goals were setting for

Cause if life’s a game.

Money is how you keep score

And to the bitches that ignore no hard feelings to one feeling heartsore

 On a meal plan, I want a mill man  

That you won’t understand, because I spent more than a couple cents

Exploring common sense...